


Time

by fyeahimking



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: Blood, Curses, Depression, Gore, I don't think there's swearing, SO, Sad, Swearing, but i cant remember, kind of, swear, whatever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-21
Updated: 2015-10-21
Packaged: 2018-04-27 10:06:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5044186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fyeahimking/pseuds/fyeahimking
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No matter what, everyone ends up saying it takes time to heal a broken heart.</p><p>The problem is that Riley doesn't feel like she has enough time. And, frankly, she doesn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Time

 

They say it takes time. Everyone says it takes time for your heart to heal after it breaks. Some say it takes the same amount of time it took for it to break in the first place. Some say it takes the exact amount of time from the day you got together to the day one of you said _I love you_. Some say it takes half the time you were together, minus however many days its been since you last had sex, divided by however many weeks since you last kissed someone. Riley can't figure out that math because she was never actually with him (or her), they, obviously, never slept together, and he was her first kiss and her only real kiss. 

No matter what, everyone ends up saying it takes time to heal a broken heart. 

The problem is that Riley doesn't feel like she has enough time. And, frankly, she doesn't.

 

_I._

 

She has a Calculus test on Monday and that helps her focus but then she sees Maya and Lucas walking down the hall, hand in hand, on their way to the library. Maya flits her fingers at her in hello and Lucas shoots a smile her way but neither stop to talk. Her heart cracks again and there's blood spilling from her chest and spreading across the floor.

 

_II._

 

Riley has the football game Friday. She managed to make the cheer squad junior year and she's sure it's because she worked harder than the last time, because this time she needed something as an excuse to stay away from Maya. She's pretty enough for Lucas now and thin enough, but she's not reckless enough or funny enough or blond enough or _Maya-enough_. She's actually enjoying herself during the halftime show but then she sees Lucas and Maya in the stands, kind of dancing and kind of shimmying to the music that their routine is set to. Lucas ducks in for a kiss, which Maya dodges with a visible laugh. He knots his arms around her waist and pulls her in anyway. There are spiderweb slivers in Riley's chest and she runs behind the bleachers to spit out the pieces of her heart that have clawed their way up her throat.

 

_III._

 

Her father's birthday is on Tuesday and her family goes to Coney Island to celebrate. Auggie invites Ava and Topanga says to invite Maya but Riley invites Farkle instead. No one questions Riley but she can feel the odd looks and she knows that her parents are whispering behind her back every once in a while. They have a good time and she actually feels okay for a little while. They stop at a diner on their way home and while they wait for their food to be delivered Riley scrolls through her Instagram feed for something to do. Then there's a picture of Lucas and Maya and Katy and Shawn with a caption that Riley thinks says something about mother-daughter date night but the tears are blinding her. She's not hungry anymore and she scratches at her arm until she draws blood, until she's sure that whatever has a hold on her heart is starting to loosen it's grip.

 

_IV._

 

Graduation is three weeks away and despite the fact that Riley and Maya aren't really friends anymore, other than the occasional wave, Maya comes running to her when she gets an envelope from a school in California. She apologizes and tells Riley that she wants to be friends again, best friends because that's what they're supposed to be, remember? It slips out that Lucas got accepted to some school in Texas and then Maya finally opens her letter. She screams right there in the middle of the bakery because it's an acceptance letter and she's so excited because she's only going to be a two hour drive away from Lucas and she's going to go to art school and _It feels like my life is coming together, Riles._ The nickname is like a knife in the brunette's heart and she's pretty sure everything that makes her a whole person is drifting apart inside of her body, she really doesn't feel human anymore.

 

_V._

 

It's the night after graduation and Riley gets lost on the way home. She wonders if it's actually exactly where she's supposed to be when she pulls up to a big bridge that's empty of other cars. Her phone is vibrating in the passenger seat, flashing Maya's face at her in the darkness but she ignores it. She pulls off her jacket and then her shoes, her sweatshirt and her socks, leaving them in a trail from the car. Then she's at the edge and the cold air burns her eyes, forcing the tears that were already on the way streaming down her cheeks. She can hear the water as it crashes and breaks and reforms under her, despite it being so far down. She climbs onto the ledge, gripping the support cables for the life that hasn't really felt like much of anything for a long time. The wind whips her hair back and forth, it teams up with the tears and successfully blurs her vision. She still manages to see the flash of headlights headed toward the bridge and she has about ten seconds to make this decision.

 

_VI._

 

But she's already made it.

She feels like she's flying, then she hits the water and it burns a little. She can feel herself breaking into a million pieces and she's so happy that it's every part of her and not just her heart. The current sends her into the sea and floating there in a million pieces, she finally feels like she has enough time.

 

_Fin._

 

**Author's Note:**

> You don't have to read this if you don't want to but you can. 
> 
> Edit - 11/12/16: I know this is probably worthless to put in but a few people have said some stuff about it being stupid that Riley killed herself over a boy and I just wanted to say that if that's how you took this then you interpreted it wrong. I don't mean that rudely in any way and I know a lot of what I write is meant to be left up to interpretation but I feel like this is kind of clear. If not then I'll put it here.
> 
> Riley kills herself because it feels like she's suddenly lost the best relationship she's ever had. She's suddenly lost her best friend because Maya easily, though unintentionally, becomes wrapped up in Lucas and, in this case, Lucas kind of turns on Riley, purposely separating them. This was written in the early stages of my entrance to this fandom, when I didn't like Lucas all that much and, I have to admit, that sometimes I still don't. In writings I've never posted, he often becomes the enemy, so to speak. Anyway, the intention is that she's lost her best friend, that it feels like someone cut a ravine between the two of them and it seems as though Riley can't get back across. In losing Maya, Riley has lost a large chunk of herself (as has Maya, of course) and it makes it hard to live without constantly looking back on the things she had with Maya. And yes, it can be interpreted, and I probably intended for it to be interpreted, as though Riley is in love with Maya, (look at the tags). Anyway, sorry, I wanted to get that off my chest.
> 
> Edit: 3/16/17: I'm going through my posts and through things I've written on my computer and wanted to add this note. I'm sorry to say that I won't be posting a sequel/piece from Maya's point of view or of her reactions anytime soon. I started writing one as soon as I wrote this, close to two years ago. I found it recently on an old computer and reading over it, I remember struggling a lot with it because I wanted it to fit into the parameters I set from the previous one, so I found myself trying to shoehorn it into them. I'm sure you've already guessed that I didn't enjoy that. At this point I'm working on a sequel that will most likely be written in a completely different way but still be connected. I have no clue when that will be posted and I aplogise for that. I just want to make sure that whatever I do post is true to character, well-written, and (this is probably one of the biggest things for me.) something that I'm proud of. Thank you for reading and thank you for understanding. (hopefully)


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